Today we’re talking about drafting!
Drafting is incredibly important because it gives you a chance to improve your work.
Read the extract below and see where it meets yr5 standards. Can you spot passive voice, modal verbs and relative clauses? List these examples on your page
Right! I've decided that when I've put the finishing touches to my 'Automatic Goal Scorer Machine', I shall tweet Cristiano Ronaldo. I just hope he responds swiftly as I hate waiting. I am going to take detailed pictures which will entice him into buying one. Once this happens, every football club in the entire world will be putting in orders for one. Being a visionary means I often dream about being rich and famous. Right now, I am so close to making my dreams come true, however, more work is needed on the 'direction function' of the machine. Yesterday, I managed to break one of Granny's windows because I typed in that the goal keeper was to the right of the machine but it shot the ball to the left. Oops. Never mind, it has been said that Rome wasn't built in a day (whatever that means). I'll just buy her a new house which I shall be able to do in the very near future.
Make sure you include passive voice, modal verbs and relative clauses in your version.
I've included the writing targets for year 5 below. Make sure you have examples of all of these things in your writing.
If you're really proud of your diary entry- send me a picture of it on the blog if you can!